Can I be honest here?

Adriana has her surgery to fix her hernia tomorrow. (Or at least she is supposed to have it. We are still waiting to hear from the hospital about the time to be there.) I know this is considered "minor" surgery, but as Bruce says, surgery is only minor when it is not being performed on you.

I have to admit here that I am scared. She is obviously scared, so I can't show her that I am scared, too. How did my parents do this through the years? How am I supposed to show her that I am not afraid when I am? I don't remember seeing the instructions in the parenting handbook of how not to be scared.

You would think with all that we have been through over the years that this would be small potatoes for us.

Well, it's not. It's big potatoes in my book.

Tomorrow, I have to hand off my oldest, the one who fought so hard after she was first born, to someone I do not really know and trust that he is going to take care of her.

We are not even sure if we will be allowed to stay with her while she falls to sleep.

Yes, the doctor has great credentials. He is a pioneer for a pretty significant medical procedure. (Gotta love Google for finding information.) He came recommended by her pediatrician whom I trust.

Yes, she seems so old now at eight and half years old, so long from that tiny 2 lb. 2 oz. baby in the NICU. She's not though.

She's still my baby. Still one of the ones for whom I would walk through fire.

Does not help that I had a flashback to the day she was born yesterday. I remember a conversation I had with my anesthesiologist and it was not a flashback that gave me comfort.

(Recap: I started having complications in my pregnancy and had to go to the hospital. After being in the hospital for six days, I ended up delivering her by emergency c-section because I had developed severe pre-eclampsia. I was pretty scared, as was Bruce. I was not thinking clearly when I had this conversation.)

Dr.: I am trying to decide what to do. So, tell me, Mrs. C. about these seizures you have been having? (Looking at a paper in his hand.)

Me: What? (Look at Bruce.) Honey, have I had seizures?

(I had been pretty stressed and thought maybe I had missed having a seizure or had missed an unfamiliar medical term.)

Bruce: No, you haven't had seizures.

Dr.: Your first name is not Irene, is it?

Me: Uhm, no.

So, evidently my care was about to be altered because the doctor had been handed a form for Irene with my same last name. Not very comforting.

I know that this is a one time incident. I do have to say that even with that incident and one other (when they accidentally skipped one of Adriana's feedings in the NICU), I still think that hospital is a top-rate one. Mistakes happen. You just pray that they do not happen to you or someone you love.

So, today I am praying that everything will go smoothly tomorrow. I am praying that the Lord will comfort her and us. I am praying that the Lord will guide the doctor's hands and will guide the anesthesiologist as he/she administers her feel good drugs.

I am also praying for my sanity throughout the whole procedure.

Cool Kids' sayings

So, here's the conversation that Jonah and I had the other day. We were driving somewhere, I can't remember where, but just Jonah and I were in the van.

Jonah: Mama, will the doctor put a knife through Adriana when he does her surgery?

Me: Uhm, what?

Jonah: Will the doctor put a knife through Adriana when he does her surgery?

Me: Uhm...uhm...well, he will do the surgery, go in and fix her hernia. Why do you ask?

Jonah: Well, Daddy said the doctor will put a knife through her to do the surgery.

Me: (Mental note to have a long, long talk with Daddy.) Well, the knife won't go through her.

Jonah: Oh, okay.


I remember one day earlier at breakfast that Jonah started asking questions about Adriana's surgery. We are usually pretty honest with our children, but we do try to keep it child-friendly. I was busy and I heard Bruce say something about the doctor will take a knife, open her up and fix the hernia. After the conversation I had with Jonah, I told him he might need to think about what he says to a four-year-old next time. In his defense, Jonah kind of took us off guard.

Here's your ticket to Heaven, young lady

Adriana gave her heart to Jesus on Sunday and we are so excited. I wasn't able to be there because Jonah has had a virus and we thought he wasn't over it at that point.

Bruce said she came forward during the invitation at church. He asked her if she knew what she was doing, and she said, "yes."

When she came home, she didn't want to tell me at first. (She is the type that doesn't like a whole lot of fuss being made.) She told me and she was crying a little. She said she was scared. I am not sure of what, but I told her that being a Christian was nothing to be scared of, that she should be happy.

That night when we were saying our prayers, she said she was thankful for her family, God and Jesus.

She will probably be baptized on Easter, which is so appropriate. The Easter story with a visual.

Pictures to come soon

I would post some recent pictures, but seems like I have used up a lot of memory lately on my computer. I am trying to free up space, but I have been running like a mad woman lately. Maybe soon.

To update everyone, Adriana will have hernia surgery on March 26. Cara is now sporting her new pump. It went "live" on Monday. This should make life better.

Girl Scout cookie sales are going on right now. I am going back to school. This time, I am working on a Master of Arts in teaching degree. This will allow me to teach with my journalism undergraduate degree.

To say I am busy right now is an understatement.

Sweet Cool Kids' saying

I am going to start a new ever-so-often series of posts called "Sweet Cool Kids' Sayings." This is the first.

The other day Cara said, "I wish I didn't have to have diabetes."

I told her, "Honey, I wish you didn't either. In fact, I wish I had it if that meant you wouldn't have it."

Her reply?

"Mama, I wouldn't want you to have it either. I don't want anyone in my family to have it."

Sweet kid.